Open Letter to my Single Self

Dear single self, 

You're probably hating that Valentine's Day is approaching. All the hearts, pink paper, and abundant flowers only serve to remind you that you're still single. You dream about your happily ever after as you try not to get jealous about yet another Facebook relationship announcement and wedding pin. But as your heart aches, and part of you wonders what's wrong with you, let me tell you a few things that only wisdom and time can teach.

Nothing is wrong with you. You are not ugly or defective. This is a lie that Satan will tell you over and over until you let it sink into your heart. Unfortunately, he will continue to hammer this lie into your mind long after you have met and married The One. Don't let him morph this lie into a truth. It's hard to fight this lie, believe me, I know. Instead of focusing on and trying to figure out what's wrong with you, focus on the fact that God loves you unconditionally. He chose you, He honors you, and you are His favorite. Every time the lie that something is wrong with you comes to mind, choose to think about something else. Satan wants nothing more than you believing that something is wrong with you- don't give him this power over your life. 

You can't force it. I know that the mere idea of two people actually liking each other at the same time seems impossible to you. And you're right- if you try to force things, it is impossible. Closed doors hurt, but they are closed for a reason. They say that it will happen when you least expect it- as cliche as that is, it's true. So do your best and focus on everything else in your life. Pour yourself into school, into church, into relationships with friends. It will happen when it's meant to happen. 

Focus on the lesson. Remember that relationship that didn't work out? The one that you really hoped would? The one that hurt really bad? It broke your heart, made you question more than you should have, and is something that you had a hard time letting go. But more than the pain, remember what it taught you. You found a confidence in yourself that you didn't have before, and you gained a better understanding of what you really wanted in The One. Be thankful that things were left on good terms, and remember that doors are closed for a reason. Every relationship, every almost-relationship, and every relationship ended is a chance to learn and grow. Focus on the lesson and work to move on.

There are far better things to come. It doesn't matter how great that other person was- if it didn't work out, it wasn't supposed to because someone out there is far better for you. It's hard to imagine, I know, and you may not believe it until you see it. But hold onto hope that the best is yet to come- not only with your relationships but in your life in general. Enjoy the moment, but you can (and should) have hope for the future. 

Oh yeah, and this cheese Valentine's Day thing? Remember...

Valentine's Day is a bigger deal now that you're single than it will ever be when you find a significant other. It's fun to have a significant other on Valentine's Day, but ask any couple that's been together longer than two years and I bet they can't even tell you what they have planned for this Valentine's Day. Instead of sitting alone and sulking, get some friends together, some pizza and drinks, and throw on some movies. Enjoy yourself and use it as an excuse to have a night out with friends. Guaranteed, most of the dating/engaged/married couples you know won't be having as much fun as you will. 

Hang in there self, it'll happen. Be patient and focus on the things you can change and affect now. There is always hope for you- never ever forget that. 

Love,

Me

{Joining Kiki for The Circle Link up and Sweet Little Ones Tuesday Talk}

Monthly Date Challenge: Giraffes & High School Couples

If you've been around Sometimes Photojenik for any length of time you'll know that Alex and I are in the middle of a monthly date night challenge. We each plan a date for the month, forcing us to get out of the house, try new things, and spend time with each other not doing projects and chores. This will be my last post of this kind because next month I will be starting Project 12 as created by Amanda from the Lady Okie Blog. The date night challenge is not ending- Project 12 is just going to be a more fun and comprehensive monthly overview. I'll write about our date nights, the books we're reading, the places we've traveled, and other significant events. I think you'll enjoy it :) Read below to get some fun date night ideas!

Date #1- Sarah's Date 

There's something you should know about me. I'm a born and raised Coloradoan and I don't ski or snowboard. {Or smoke pot in case you were wondering} Crazy, I know. But I have made my Colorado winters more than enjoyable by fully taking advantage of all sledding and ice skating opportunities.

I've forever wanted to ice skate on an outdoor rink or pond like they do in the movies and books. So when I saw a Groupon for an outdoor ice skating rink close to our house, I jumped on that deal right away.

Before skating we decided to go to one of our favorite restaurants, Olive Garden. Does anyone else like their unlimited salad as much as we do? Our minimum is three bowls, and we really hate when the food comes quickly! (Less chance to get more salad!) We enjoyed dinner and headed over to the skating rink where things got interesting.

This was certainly an ice rink but instead of a circle of ice it was a circle of slush. If you've ever skated on a slushy rink, you know just how terrifying it can be. The slush coupled with little children darting in front of us with a death wish (I was never ever one of those children), led me to wish that I would leave the rink sans-fall (I did!).

That Friday night also seemed to be a very popular date night for all the local high school couples, and I found myself thinking "get a room" more than once. You may have seen my Instagram post summarizing the night but basically skating on an outdoor rink was a dream come true... but my dream looked a lot different. I'm not sure we would go back to that rink but it was a fun night and something we can laugh about for years to come.

(notice the slush on the bottom left and the hoards of people bottom right)

Date #2- Alex's Date 

My California raised husband loves his seafood so he was thrilled when he got a gift card to a local seafood restaurant for his birthday. I'm not a seafood person but I like shrimp so we decided to hit the place up for our second date. Before we went, we found a coupon online for a free appetizer and used it to order the best spinach artichoke dip we've ever had.

Alex ordered a plate full of a variety of very fishy tasting things and my shrimp order was as big as my face (not kidding). As we were finishing up our meal and presenting our gift card and appetizer coupon there was some confusion with our final bill resulting in a manager to come over. I happened to mention to the very friendly manager that it was our first time eating there and that we had really enjoyed it. He replied, "Oh it's your first time here? I'll give you a dessert on the house that you can take to go" (he clearly saw the "I've-eaten-so-much-I'm-going-to-roll-out-the-door" look on our faces). Holla for some free dessert. I'm not sure if I've ever gotten free dessert just for mentioning that it's my first time at a restaurant, but I might have to try that tactic more often. Between our gift card, coupon, and a generous manager, we landed up getting what would have been a very pricey three course meal for almost nothing. Saweeeet! 

(He was really excited for his seafood)

After dinner, we headed out to the Denver Zoo. Each year Cheyenne Mountain Zoo in Colorado Springs (where our first date was!) puts on a bunch of lights around Christmas time and you go tour the zoo at night. Going to see the Zoo Lights has become a tradition for us, and we were more than ready to try it when we found out that the Denver Zoo did the same thing. If you're close to a zoo and they do this, I totally recommend it- it's so so fun!

We enjoyed walking around seeing the stellar light show that Denver Zoo produced. My favorite part was an entire light exhibit of sea creatures like dolphins, walruses, and whales that can't be seen live at the zoo. It was a chilly night and after about an hour I was really jealous of the kids being pulled around in a wagon by their parents. And there was no way we were forking out $7 for a styrofoam cup of hot cocoa. $7!!

The funny thing about the Denver Zoo Lights was there were so many people (we went pretty close to Christmas), that we would have to wait in ginormous lines to see the actual live animals. The lights were so well done, though, that it mostly made up for only getting a few glimpses of the real animals.

(Giraffes are my all time favorite zoo animal)

All in all, it was a fun month of dates for December. Next month, I look forward to sharing more than just our dates in Project 12!

Have you ever been to a zoo lights exhibit? Or skated on an outdoor rink or pond?

Monthly Date Challenge: Dancing Gone Wrong

A few months ago, Alex and I initiated a monthly date challenge to motivate ourselves to get out of the house and go on different dates. The general idea is that we each plan a date for each month, that way we're having at least two monthly date nights (which is more than we used to!) 

November was Alex's birthday so I landed up not planning a separate date because I was so focused on all of the birthday festivities. Alex was on top of it and managed to plan a fun one for us. Read more below to find out about our dancing gone wrong and to see some pictures of my guy's birthday! 

Alex's Date 

There is nothing that I love more than walking through our front door and being greeted by my man saying, "Hey are you okay if we do something a little different tonight?" This little "something different" included me not having to cook dinner so of course I was game. 

We hopped in the car and drove to our favorite gourmet Italian place... Noodles & Co. It's actually not our favorite Italian place but Alex got a coupon for a free entree for his birthday month so that night it was our favorite. 

Then we made a pit stop at one of our favorite stores Goodwill. 

Now, lest you think my man is cheap and doesn't plan good dates, I'm pretty sure Goodwill was not part of the original date. But. It happened to be right across the street from Noodles & Co. and we hadn't stopped by since we'd moved so thought we'd wander around inside so that the country club we were going to later would have a chance to get wild (more on that later). 

We actually do love thrifting and have gotten some pretty cool stuff from it, but this Goodwill was slightly ridiculous. There was a strand of (used) Christmas lights that was $15... we plugged it in and it didn't even work. Need I say more? 

We headed to this new country club that we'd heard about from a friend. After going, leaving to find an ATM because they only took cash (really, who does that?), and then going back, we entered a very large and empty country club. 

Alex and I LOVE country dancing, it's one of our favorite things to do and we had both been excited to try this place. We were ready to dance the night away! 

(like our boots? yeah, me too)

We picked a perch on the side of the dance floor and immediately noticed that they were playing some really weird music. We had seen on the website that the night's theme was west coast swing and two step (not paying more attention to the "west coast swing" part was our first mistake). The music they were playing must have been considered "west coast swing" music. All we knew was that the five people that were dancing were definitely doing some step that we had no idea how to do. 

We decided to be patient and wait until after 9pm. After all, it was a random Thursday night and we figured the music would get better. It didn't. 

There was a continuous mix of weird oldies and hip hop. Did you know you could country dance to hip hop? Yeah, neither did I. But apparently you can, as was proven by the 60 year old couple that was somehow country dancing to Usher. 

Alex and I got out for a couple of dances to the two country songs they played, but for the most part this is how we felt about the night: 

 And this is the most fun I had that evening:

(One of my absolute favorite things to do is taking selfies of us while Alex isn't looking. I've thought about doing an entire blog post of these kinds of pictures. He's less than a fan).

We left the club after about an hour and decided that we need to go back on a normal night to try it again. It wasn't a date fail by any means because we had fun and spent time together, but it certainly was dancing gone wrong. 

Sarah's Date / Alex's Birthday Celebration 

I will admit I slacked on the date planning department in preparation for the big guy's birthday. We celebrated his birthday a weekend early because I was set to work the actual weekend of his birthday. 

The first weekend we celebrated an early birthday for both my husband and his mom whose birthday is three days before Alex's. We went out to eat at this Brazilian place (so.good.) and then opened presents at my in-laws house. 

For his birthday, I got Alex a bike rack for his car... something he's been wanting for forever. Despite it being winter and not being able to use it much right now, he was still pretty excited.

The weekend of his birthday I had Saturday off and was supposed to work Sunday (his actual birthday). Saturday we went to a little festival in the town we just moved from. They light a giant star in the middle of the town and there's always lots of free food and music. We enjoyed walking around our old town, enjoyed seeing the star lit, and then had pizza with friends after.

That Sunday night I had requested to be called off if they had an extra nurse at work. So after a terrible night's sleep (I was scared I would miss the call), they called me at 5:20 AM on my husband's birthday and made my dreams come true. I was so thankful I didn't have to go into work on his birthday!

That Sunday his family came up to Denver and we watched the new Hunger Games movie (intense for sure), then went to dinner at the Old Spaghetti Factory (which probably actually is our favorite Italian place... anyone else ever been to one??) All in all, it was a fun month filled with birthdays, yummy Thanksgiving dinners, and dates to laugh about.

How was your month?? Any fun dates? Anyone like country dancing besides us?

A Monthly Date Challenge: Bicycles & Basketball

I can't believe how fast autumn is flying by; I mean it's already almost Thanksgiving! #canigetanamen. In July, Alex and I created a date night challenge for ourselves. We decided we needed to get out more and move our dates past the couch and Netflix. I plan one for the month and he plans one for the month. Read below to find out what we did in October. 

Date #1 Sarah's Date

We have some friends who have repeatedly told us about this date idea that they do. I must admit it sounded like fun, but it involved bicycling which I can do, but it's not my favorite thing in the world. My husband man, on the other hand, LOVES biking so I figured I would put up with it for his sake. 

Denver has this awesome thing called the B-cycle program where you rent a bike for $8 for the entire day. As long as you check in at stations along the way, it's the one flat fee. A large majority of the stations that you get these bicycles from are downtown Denver, so I figured that we could rent bicycles and ride them to dinner. 

Now, riding a bicycle is my forte... if it's on a small deserted (preferably paved) path along a river or something. Riding bicycles downtown Denver? That sounded extremely intimidating and I almost talked myself out of it. Thankfully I called my friend (who had done this date many times before), to help me walk through the bike renting process, and she convinced talked me back into it. 

Alex got home, we threw helmets in the car and headed for downtown. We luckily found a place to park for free (I didn't want to have to pay for parking and a bicycle). We found the bicycles, rented them, and headed out. It was nerve-wracking at first but as I got more comfortable and realized how many of the streets had really wide bike lanes, I enjoyed it more and more. Did I mention it was October and the perfect night out? Like 70 degrees!

Alex was easily comfortable on his bike and led the way to the Mexican restaurant that I had picked out prior to leaving the house. We were downtown with cars honking, steam rising from potholes, and skyscrapers all around us... to this small town girl, the urban night life was both overwhelming and exciting at the same time.

We sat and enjoyed Mexican food... which is also a huge deal because if you know me I'm really picky with my Mexican food (as in I don't really like it unless it's New Mexican food- and YES, there is a huge difference). This place had awesome reviews and great prices online and they didn't disappoint.

The waiter got so tired of refilling our waters

that he eventually just brought an entire pitcher

out. Oops. 

It was dark outside by this time which made riding the bikes a little bit scarier, but they came equipped with a flashing front and rear light which made me feel a lot safer. We walked around the famous 16th street mall after dinner, stopped into Starbucks for a frappucino dessert, and then hopped on our bikes and rode around a bit more until we headed back to our car.

Alex loved the date, I thoroughly enjoyed the date, and we can't wait to hop back on the B-cycle. 

**Also, just as a note... you can download the B-cycle app through the App Store and see if there is a program in your city... there looked to be a program in a lot of the major cities around the country, not just Denver. Check it out to see if it's in your city! 

Date #2 Alex's Date 

So, if there's one thing that Alex and I will forever love, it's basketball. I have been a die hard Denver Nuggets fan since I was in 6th grade. And when I say die hard I mean that- I had my entire bedroom covered in posters, newspaper articles, jerseys, and other paraphernalia of Carmelo Anthony. #15... those were the days.

I also may or may not have pushed a little kid out of the way when  I was a sophomore in high school so Carmelo Anthony could sign my basketball.

Anyway, last season was pretty rough, but every season is a new chance. Since our latest move, we are only 15 minutes from Pepsi Center- the stadium where the Nuggets play. This is good and bad- good because we can watch games easier, bad because we probably should not spend all of our money on tickets. 

We had friends invite us to one of the games and when we looked it up, we found out it was opening night. Um, we'll be there! So, Wednesday October 30th we watched the Denver Nuggets open the 2014-2015 NBA season against the Detroit Pistons... It was awesome to start off the year with a win, and even more fun to share the game with friends (one whom had never been to a Nuggets game before).

Going to a Nuggets game with friends would just be too boring though. In the middle of it all, we got caught in traffic, missed the first part of the game, vowed next time just to take the light rail... and then locked our keys in our car. 

Our friends dropped us off at home after the game to get a spare key, we drove back to the Pepsi Center to get the car with keys locked in it, and pulled into home finally close to 11pm. When it was all said and done, we had a good time and were happy to welcome in basketball season. Go Nuggets! 

All in all, it was another great month of dates... 

Do you like riding bikes? Would you ever do it in a big city? Have you ever gone to a professional basketball game? 

Melted Froyo & Chicken Wings

About a month ago, I told you all about me and the husband's man to venture on a monthly date challenge . We're pretty very frugal people, and we decided to challenge ourselves to do a  fun date twice a month. We have fun and enjoy each other's company {mostly} every day, so it's not like this twice a month thing is the only time we're into each other. It's just a way for us to have something to look forward to and get us out of the house. 

Without further ado... Here's date #1

Sarah's Date 

In the spirit of trying to keep things in a budget, my date was the "stay-at-home-but-do-something-different-date." 

I started the night by getting on some pretty clothes and confining my husband to the bedroom while I got to work in the kitchen. For all that think that shoving him in the bedroom is spousal abuse- he had homework that he had to do anyway so he was fine with it... promise. 

Then I got to work cooking up this Chicken Parmesan with Linguine and Broccoli  (Thanks, Pinterest). 

I pulled out the fancy stuff for the table... place mats and napkins I was given when I left Guatemala! 

Throw in some boxed  really fancy schmancy wine, and you're set for dinner! 

I set Alex free from his captivity in the bedroom and we enjoyed our dinner that felt a little more special than normal. 

I've gotta admit, when he came out I had everything dark (blinds closed etc.) and candles lit for a candlelight dinner. But I had gotten so hot making dinner that the "candlelit part" lasted about 2.4 seconds before I'd had enough and opened the blinds, windows, and lights just so I could breathe. Summer- 1 Sarah-0. 

After dinner we hopped in the car and went to our favorite frozen yogurt place and each got a nice serving of froyo. 

Instead of sitting at the froyo place and eating it, I had planned to take it to a little area I had researched in advance and hike around while eating froyo. 

This kind of failed for two reasons. 

Reason #1

Froyo melts. Quick. The hike was only an 8 minute drive and by the time we got there, my coffee frozen yogurt tasted more like iced coffee with gummy bears in it. 

Reason #2. 

It got dark quicker than we were expecting, making hiking whilst eating/drinking frozen yogurt not the greatest idea. 

All in all though, it was a great time and date #1 for the monthly date challenge went down in the books. 

Alex's Date

August was super busy for us because we were apartment hunting and then packing to move at the end of the month. We were pretty tired, so Alex's date was pretty low key but got us out of the house which is the important thing! 

We'd been talking about going to Buffalo Wild Wings for their 60 cent boneless chicken wing night for a lonnnnnng time and hadn't done it yet. We decided to change that. 

What you may not know about me is that chicken isn't my favorite thing... which is ironic considering both of our dates night this month included chicken. 

I like chicken if:

1. It doesn't have bones 

2. It has enough sauce or dressing that I don't actually taste chicken

Buffalo Wild Wings meets both of these criteria... boneless and I really just go for all the delicious sauce on the chicken. 

We stuffed our faces full of poultry and then went home to cook up a tasty dessert. 

Not gonna lie... This was my first time doing s'mores over an electric stove (got the idea from a friend). In case you were wondering- it works GREAT! I had done it over a gas stove before and in comparing the two I would say the electric stove is easier and provides a more even brown. 

This may be the one and only way that an electric stove is better than gas. 

All in all, month #1 of our monthly date challenge went well and was worth the extra effort to plan some dates that weren't "normal" for us. Look for the dates in month #2 of our date challenge in a post coming early October! 

Does anyone else not really like chicken? And did you know that frozen yogurt melts so quick?!

A Monthly Date Challenge

As Alex and I near our one year wedding anniversary (crazy that it's already been almost a year!) We've started reflecting on some things that have marked our first year. One of the themes for our year that {unfortunately} stood out, was the fact that we budgeted for entertainment every month... and hardly used all (if any) of that budget.

Now, we still had fun, and we know that fun doesn't always have to cost money, but we realize a year later that maybe we should have actually spent some of what we budgeted.

I'm a crazy frugal person- I like math, calculators, and budgets... and most of all I like saving money. When I got married, I never in a million years thought that I would marry someone more frugal than myself.

But I did. 

And although we are frugal in different ways, our frugality means that we stay home a lot. Maybe a little too much. Maybe so much that our families and even some close friends have to remind us that it's okay to spend money on fun things. And remind us that it's okay to spend money on a vacation.

Our habit over the past year has become staying at home and watching Netflix. Microwave popcorn and the couch have been our near constant companions. And while this makes an absolutely lovely date, we realize now that maybe we should have added a little variety. We'll occasionally go out to Chik-Fil-A on a Friday night (we're high class, people), and we've done a handful of dinner dates at various other elegant restaurants like Red Robin.

As we talked one night about this habit we've formed, we remembered that we "dated" a lot more before we were married. I think it had a lot to do with the fact that we weren't living together and we intentionally had to make time to do something fun. A year into the married life, and we still have fun, but it doesn't feel as intentional as it used to.

And so we decided that something needed to change... Enter...

THE MONTHLY DATE CHALLENGE 

For the month of August {and hopefully subsequent months}, we decided that we are going to do two planned dates.

Alex plans one.

I plan the other.

We're each going to plan one because:

#1 We both like to be surprised

#2 We each have different ideas about what to do for date night (Alex has way better ideas than me!)

#3 If I plan one, that takes the expectation off of him to come up with all {or most} of our date ideas. Which is a win-win for both of us.

We haven't set a budget yet but I think it will probably look like where one of us plans a "stay-in" date, and the other plans a "go out" date.

I'll be reporting back in September with a "report" of each of the dates {pictures included}!

 

Will you join me in intentionally dating your spouse/significant other? 

 

Have you ever had to make dating your spouse/significant other a habit?