Making Decisions Without Becoming Bridezilla

(this picture was taken following a bridal shower game where they had to put my

 make up on...blind folded)

As I began my wedding journey about two years ago, I remember telling my mom, "Mom I do NOT want to be a bridezilla!"

In fact I watched dozens of "Bridezillas" episodes on Netflix so I could see what not to do. So when I told my mom this, I expected her to respond "Yeah I don't want you to be a bridezilla either." {Actually, what I really wanted her to say was "Of course you won't be a bridezilla, Sarah! You're too sweet, patient, gentle, and kind for that!" hah. }

What she really said turned out to be some of the best advice that I ever got while I was wedding planning. She told me,

"Sarah, you may have to be a bridezilla at points. You're going to have everyone telling you what they think you should do, and eventually you're going to have to decide what you want to do, and how you want to do it." 

Now, when my mom said this she didn't mean be a bridezilla in the sense that I be a super rude, super self-absorbed demanding princess. What she meant was, it was my wedding, and that ultimately I (and Alex) would have to decide what we wanted for our special day. 

However long you spend wedding planning, whether it be 3 weeks or 3 years... you will find about 2.4 million different opinions about how weddings should be done. Chances are, you'll disagree with a few of the ideas.  

And thus presents the opportunity to be a "bridezilla". You need to be able to stick to your guns and make decisions in order that your wedding is what you dream it to be; not what your great aunt twice-removed dreams it to be. But it is possible to make these decisions as a bride without letting the "zilla" take over. 

* * * * *

First of all, decide on your priorities for your wedding with your soon to be hubby. More on how we did this here. Setting priorities is vital in your quest to have a smooth wedding planning experience. It helps you focus on what you really want and this helps you stick to your guns when people suggest otherwise. It also keeps you from getting too unrealistic with your expectations. 

Second, keep your expectations in check. This was probably the hardest thing for me to do. I'm a perfectionist so when life happened and people did things that I didn't expect, I got frustrated. Keep your expectations in check by talking your frustrations through with someone you trust (for me it was both my mom and Alex). If you have expectations that are realistic of your gals, the guys in the wedding, or different family members... STATE those expectations. The people in your life need to know what you want and need from them and no matter how hard you try, they probably won't be able to read your mind. Stating your expectations will prevent a lot of misunderstandings from happening.  

**side note: expectations (and those that are unmet) can become a big deal in marriage so if you can figure out how to manage them appropriately during your wedding planning, you'll be that much better off when you're officially married! 

Third, learn how to politely stick to your guns. A phrase that worked for me was something like... 

"That sounds like a beautiful idea but Alex and I have decided that this {insert what you're planning on doing} is how we're going to celebrate our day." 

The person making the suggestion may still disagree and try to convince you otherwise, but if it's something important to you then continue to be polite in your refusal... eventually they'll get the point. Sometimes changing the subject to something going on in their life (a new job, grandkid etc.) was the best way to divert attention from my wedding. 

*****

In all of this remember that it's okay to fight for what you want on your special day... after all, it's the only one you get. 

But in your bridezilla moments that are okay to have, remember to be kind, keep your expectations realistic, and at the end of the day remember the most important thing of all... 

you'll soon be married to your best friend, and that is really what matters! 

Much love and happy wedding planning!