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You're an Alternate- Pt. 2

I had just gotten the email from Children's Hospital Colorado telling me that I was an alternate for a position in the nurse residency program

I read the email sitting in a Starbucks as I took a study break from my NCLEX (nursing boards) quizzing break.
You don't know what a good study break is until you stop studying for the biggest test of your life and find out you're second choice. Anyway, I digress. As I sat freezing in the overly air-conditioned coffee shop (y'all know what I'm talking about), I went through all the stages of grief that one goes through when they're told they're second choice.

Stage One- Denial

They sent that email to the wrong person. They meant to send it to the OTHER Sarah, not me. Easy mistake, I forgive them. I should email them back and tell them they've got the wrong person.

Stage Two- Anger

How could they not choose me?! Somehow, in the two weeks since my interview, I had convinced myself that my less than polished answers were better than they actually were.

Stage Three- Acceptance

Welp, I guess I didn't get the job. Maybe I shouldn't even bother studying anymore for these dumb boards.

Stage Four- Rejection 

I don't WANT to be an alternate. I just want to either know YES or NO. None of this in between business! Not knowing is worse than a NO; I'm going to email them right now and tell them that I REFUSE the offer.

Thankfully I got talked out of sending them a refusal email. Not that I actually had anything to officially refuse.

So, here I was on July 1st, with the potential about not knowing about my future for yet another month.

I tried my best not to think about it. Thankfully I had some things to distract me like...

My boards....

TWO awesome bridal showers thrown by my lovely mamacita

And yet MORE wedding preparation.

And I bought my first Iphone. Nevermind the fact that I still didn't have a job to pay for said Iphone.

So, finally on July 29th, came the phone call I was waiting for. I don't remember much of what was said, but I do remember the lady telling me

"Sarah, I would like to offer you a position in the New Graduate Nurse Residency Program at Children's Hospital Colorado."

Say what?! Maybe my interview answers and made up quiz answers weren't so bad after all!! Maybe my pathetic nervousness during the interview was enough to make them remember me. Or maybe they remembered laughing during my interview. Or maybe, it was the mighty hand of God.

A week later I started the job and the more I talked to my fellow peers-now-turned-colleagues, I humbly realized how much I didn't deserve the job.

My credentials and experience were no where near those of the girl who had done her senior practicum in one of the top pediatric intensive care units in the nation, or the girl who'd attended nursing school at Duke University, or the lady who already had a Masters of Science in Nursing (but was still considered a new grad-figure that one out!), or the girl that had already worked at Children's for several years.

Almost all of my fellow 35 or so colleagues either came from out of state and had quite impressive resumes, or were in state and had either worked or done their senior practicum (a huge advantage) at Children's Hospital.

So, why did I get the job? I don't know.

But I DO know that God Almighty was working on my behalf to give me this job, and this story is a perfect example of how we deserve NOTHING, and yet our Faithful Father chooses to LAVISH us with more than we could ever imagine.

During nursing school, there were incredible levels of anxiety among my classmates about jobs. It seemed as though we heard or talked about how it was impossible to get jobs. How all these people we knew who'd graduated last year still couldn't find jobs. How you were never going to find a job unless you were a CNA in a hospital (which I wasn't).

I constantly thought and worried about how I would manage to beef up my resume just enough to get a job. I wasn't a CNA at a hospital and was always debating whether or not I should apply. I always felt like I needed to volunteer more, get better grades, and try harder. Nevermind the fact that I already didn't sleep much.

If I only knew that God would take care of me.
If I only knew that God would put me in the right job. Regardless of my resume.
If I only knew that God would continue to bless me, despite my doubts of His faithfulness.

If I only knew and truly trusted God's everlasting faithfulness and God's goodness, I would have saved myself much anxiety, worry, and doubt. 

If someone asks me how I got the job at Children's, I don't really have a great answer for them. But I am confident in knowing that I was given the job at Children's for a very specific purpose, for a very specific plan, and....

....for such a time as this

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