Open Letter to my Single Self

Dear single self, 

You're probably hating that Valentine's Day is approaching. All the hearts, pink paper, and abundant flowers only serve to remind you that you're still single. You dream about your happily ever after as you try not to get jealous about yet another Facebook relationship announcement and wedding pin. But as your heart aches, and part of you wonders what's wrong with you, let me tell you a few things that only wisdom and time can teach.

Nothing is wrong with you. You are not ugly or defective. This is a lie that Satan will tell you over and over until you let it sink into your heart. Unfortunately, he will continue to hammer this lie into your mind long after you have met and married The One. Don't let him morph this lie into a truth. It's hard to fight this lie, believe me, I know. Instead of focusing on and trying to figure out what's wrong with you, focus on the fact that God loves you unconditionally. He chose you, He honors you, and you are His favorite. Every time the lie that something is wrong with you comes to mind, choose to think about something else. Satan wants nothing more than you believing that something is wrong with you- don't give him this power over your life. 

You can't force it. I know that the mere idea of two people actually liking each other at the same time seems impossible to you. And you're right- if you try to force things, it is impossible. Closed doors hurt, but they are closed for a reason. They say that it will happen when you least expect it- as cliche as that is, it's true. So do your best and focus on everything else in your life. Pour yourself into school, into church, into relationships with friends. It will happen when it's meant to happen. 

Focus on the lesson. Remember that relationship that didn't work out? The one that you really hoped would? The one that hurt really bad? It broke your heart, made you question more than you should have, and is something that you had a hard time letting go. But more than the pain, remember what it taught you. You found a confidence in yourself that you didn't have before, and you gained a better understanding of what you really wanted in The One. Be thankful that things were left on good terms, and remember that doors are closed for a reason. Every relationship, every almost-relationship, and every relationship ended is a chance to learn and grow. Focus on the lesson and work to move on.

There are far better things to come. It doesn't matter how great that other person was- if it didn't work out, it wasn't supposed to because someone out there is far better for you. It's hard to imagine, I know, and you may not believe it until you see it. But hold onto hope that the best is yet to come- not only with your relationships but in your life in general. Enjoy the moment, but you can (and should) have hope for the future. 

Oh yeah, and this cheese Valentine's Day thing? Remember...

Valentine's Day is a bigger deal now that you're single than it will ever be when you find a significant other. It's fun to have a significant other on Valentine's Day, but ask any couple that's been together longer than two years and I bet they can't even tell you what they have planned for this Valentine's Day. Instead of sitting alone and sulking, get some friends together, some pizza and drinks, and throw on some movies. Enjoy yourself and use it as an excuse to have a night out with friends. Guaranteed, most of the dating/engaged/married couples you know won't be having as much fun as you will. 

Hang in there self, it'll happen. Be patient and focus on the things you can change and affect now. There is always hope for you- never ever forget that. 

Love,

Me

{Joining Kiki for The Circle Link up and Sweet Little Ones Tuesday Talk}

DIY Lyric Wall Art

After creating a mantle at Christmastime that I fell in love with, I decided to play with my design skills and create a picture that I could put on our mantle. I had seen some similar ideas on Pinterest, and had wanted to overlay the lyrics of one of my favorite songs over a picture for a long time. The song these lyrics are from is called "Love is Not a Fight" by Warren Barfield. If you've never heard it, you NEED to click that link and listen to it NOW- it's seriously one of my favorites and makes me cry every time! 

 I finally decided to make the project I had dreamed of using my favorite editing program called PicMonkey. Below, I'll show you how to make a similar project using this program. The skills needed to do this project are really basic, and you can tailor it to your tastes really easily. Choose a picture and some lyrics (or perhaps a favorite quote), and let's get started! 

1. First head over to PicMonkey.com, click on "Design" at the very top and hit "Custom". I wanted my picture to be the size of a regular sheet of paper so that I could print it at home. The dimensions you'll need to enter for a regular sheet of printer paper page is 800x1050. Click "Make it" and your blank project will open up. If you want to make different size of picture (say 5x7 or 4x6) but aren't sure how many pixels you need to make it, you can use this nifty little inch-to-pixel converter! 

2. Next, you'll want to click the "Tt" on the left and then "Add text" at the top. You can use the box on the left to play with the size and color of the words you're adding. 

3. This next step is the MOST CRUCIAL step in the whole process. You must open a new PicMonkey page in your browser, click "Edit" at the top and open the picture that you are going to overlay with your text. 

On the top left sidebar there's a small little square icon. Click on that. Then at the bottom of that menu, there will be a option that says "Resize". Once you click on that, you need to enter the exact same dimensions that your other project is (in my case I resized the picture to 800x1050). 

You must resize your photo to the exact dimensions of the other project or the picture will come out skewed when you add it behind your text. If you are planning on putting your text on a color picture, you can go ahead and click "Save" at the top and head to the next step. 

I wanted to overlay my text on a black and white picture so I went ahead and changed the photo to black and white before saving it. I did this by clicking the little wand icon on the left, clicking "Black and White" and adjusting from there. 

Once again, any major edits that you are doing to your picture must be done in this step. Once you are happy with your edited picture, go ahead and save it to your computer. 

4. Now here is where the fun part starts. Go back to your original project (the one with the text), click on the little butterfly icon on the left and then click on "Your own" at the top. From here, you should be able to go into your pictures and open the picture that you just edited. It will probably open up small like mine did below. 

Go ahead and use the cursor to make your picture as big as the white background (your picture will cover your text at this point). Once your picture is the same size as your white background, right click on your mouse and click the option that says "Send to back". 

Once you do that, you should land up with your text in front like this: 

5. From here, I decided that the black and white picture with black font was too boring so I decided to play with my picture a little bit. By using the color palette and "Fade" option, I was able to adjust my picture to have a more sepia look and make the text stand out more. 

At this point, you can adjust your picture and text accordingly. You may need to use the "Fade" tool on your picture to make your text stand out more. Play with it until you're happy with your finished product and then go ahead and save that baby! I just printed my finished project on regular printer paper at home and found a cheap black frame at a thrift store to finish my masterpiece. The whole decoration only cost $2 (the cost of the frame), and took about an hour to make. I love it because it's personalized to me- lyrics and words I love with one of my favorite wedding pictures. It's gracing my mantle now and I'm well on my way to creating another part of my house that I love!

Comment with any questions you have below! Have you ever done something like this? Do you think you might try?

{Linking up with one of my new favorites- Tuesday Talk!}

My Engagement Days: Tips from a fiance-turned-wife

 Alex and I got engaged September 15, 2012 and got married exactly one year later on September 14, 2013. Our year engagement felt a little long to us, but we now know that it was perfect timing and God's plan for us. 

We both agreed that an engagement period of at least 4-6 months is preferable. We think waiting at least four months allows you time to prepare, seek the Lord, and exercise the self-control that will be needed even once you are married. However, we know that the Lord has different plans for different couples, and we aren't in any position to stand in the way of those plans. :) 

The year Alex and I spent engaged was full of a ton of change, but there are four things we intentionally did that maximized our engagement period, later helping us in our first year of marriage. 

Doing these four things won't mean that your first year of marriage will be bliss (it might be, it might not be!), but they will help prepare you for the journey that's ahead. 

When Alex and I got engaged, we met with a couple that we both deeply respect and love. They told us something we will never forget: "Most couples divorce over problems related to communication or money, so if you can target those two things then you will have a good foundation." This stuck with us, and our marriage preparations centered around these two things, so without further introduction... 

1. Enroll in a Dave Ramsey Financial Peace University class

Alex and I had talked about money prior to being engaged, but this class took our discussions to the next level. While there are a couple of things that we disagree with, the majority of what Dave Ramsey says is sound and logical advice that every American needs to hear. Since taking this class, we have recommended it to our friends (married, single, and engaged), because we think it is SO. IMPORTANT. 

This class opens up the floor for discussion about financial matters, and more importantly gives you the tools and steps necessary to start your marriage off on the right financial foot. Even if you think you are smart with money (Alex and I would consider ourselves good with money), there are valuable lessons to glean from Dave Ramsey's principles making it so so so worth your time and money. This class addresses debt, insurance, investments, and budgeting really giving you a solid knowledge base that will allow you to make smart financial decisions and not  find yourself 10 years down the road in your marriage wishing you hadn't made the dumb financial decisions you did. 

The classes are offered at local churches in almost every town. The class costs $70-90 and is a total of 13 sessions, but I can tell you that is the best time and money that I have ever spent. Truly. The fee includes all the materials, as well as a lifetime membership allowing you access to all the online resources.To find out more, head over here . 

Alex and I had our share of disagreements and fights during our first year of marriage, but not a single one was about money or finances, and we truly credit it to taking this class. Do it. Please. (And please feel free to ask me any questions you may have about it). 

2. Get premarital counseling. 

We addressed the issue of finances with step #1, and now we're addressing the issue of communication in step #2. No matter how long you've been together, how compatible you think you are, or how well you think you communicate, you will benefit from premarital counseling. Involving a third party exposes things that you may have not talked about before, and helps you explore issues that were discussed previously but not in depth. 

Premarital counseling is almost always offered through your church (and is a requirement in some churches), or you can get it through a local counseling agency. 

Our particular course was 6 weeks long and examined rules for communicating, intimacy, and dealing with extended family, to name a few. 

One thing that our premarital counseling did not include, that we would strongly recommend, is followup after the wedding. You can do all the counseling in the world but you don't really know what marriage is like until you're actually there. Actually being married will expose issues that no amount of counseling will reveal prior to the wedding day. See if the couple or pastor or counselor who is meeting with you will meet with you once or twice (or more!) after the wedding. This followup will help you work through issues that will inevitably arise following your wedding day. 

3. Read the book, "Before You Plan Your Wedding, Plan Your Marriage."

This book is written by Greg and Erin Smalley, and gives practical advice to breaking unhealthy patterns that are likely present in your relationship. We personally read this book in our engagement period and found it to be the most helpful. This book complemented and reinforced the lessons we were learning in our premarital counseling, and we both loved the practicality of its principles (think step-by-step guide). 

I have recommended this book to all the engaged couples that I know, as well as married, and single (but dating) friends because I believe the principles the authors talk about are invaluable at any point of your relationship with another person. I only wish I had read this book earlier in our relationship because it's advice would have saved Alex and I from falling into some of the ugly cycles and destructive patterns that we did. 

The last thing I want to point out is there is a ton of literature out there discussing marriage. You could spend years pouring through all the books that have been written on this topic. And to this point I want to say- don't overwhelm yourself with 3.2 million books that you feel like you have to read on marriage. If this book sounds like it is for you, great; if it doesn't, great. 

We read two books in our year engaged and two books only. Look at your options, decide which is best for you as a couple, and don't worry about the rest. It's easy to get trapped in thinking you should read 10 books on marriage before you walk down the aisle. Choose one or two to read during your engagement period and then work through the rest after you're married. You've got your whole life to read them all! 

4. Spend time together NOT doing wedding stuff

It's so easy when you're engaged to suddenly let all the time you spend with your significant other revolve around wedding planning. Fortunately, Alex and I didn't have a huge problem with this because #1 he didn't care too much about all the details and the ones he did care about I let him have control over, and #2 I wasn't much into wedding planning myself so our time together, for the most part, didn't include discussions about table decorations, dress colors, or flowers. 

A large majority of our time was spent in Financial Peace University and premarital classes, but we enjoyed what we were learning, and we were excited to be preparing for our future together. It's easy to get overwhelmed by books, classes, and things you are told you need to do to prepare for marriage, so we tell couples to pick and choose a few things and focus on those and (politely) ignore or decline the rest. 

And one of the most important things you can do is to have fun and just enjoy each other. After all, you're getting married and it's a beautiful time of life! 

Both of us would agree that engagement wasn't our favorite season of life, but we learned so many valuable lessons because we were intentional about preparing for marriage. 

Those are the four best things I did while  I was engaged. What do you think? What other things would you add?

Linking up with a Jack of All Trades 

Melted Froyo & Chicken Wings

About a month ago, I told you all about me and the husband's man to venture on a monthly date challenge . We're pretty very frugal people, and we decided to challenge ourselves to do a  fun date twice a month. We have fun and enjoy each other's company {mostly} every day, so it's not like this twice a month thing is the only time we're into each other. It's just a way for us to have something to look forward to and get us out of the house. 

Without further ado... Here's date #1

Sarah's Date 

In the spirit of trying to keep things in a budget, my date was the "stay-at-home-but-do-something-different-date." 

I started the night by getting on some pretty clothes and confining my husband to the bedroom while I got to work in the kitchen. For all that think that shoving him in the bedroom is spousal abuse- he had homework that he had to do anyway so he was fine with it... promise. 

Then I got to work cooking up this Chicken Parmesan with Linguine and Broccoli  (Thanks, Pinterest). 

I pulled out the fancy stuff for the table... place mats and napkins I was given when I left Guatemala! 

Throw in some boxed  really fancy schmancy wine, and you're set for dinner! 

I set Alex free from his captivity in the bedroom and we enjoyed our dinner that felt a little more special than normal. 

I've gotta admit, when he came out I had everything dark (blinds closed etc.) and candles lit for a candlelight dinner. But I had gotten so hot making dinner that the "candlelit part" lasted about 2.4 seconds before I'd had enough and opened the blinds, windows, and lights just so I could breathe. Summer- 1 Sarah-0. 

After dinner we hopped in the car and went to our favorite frozen yogurt place and each got a nice serving of froyo. 

Instead of sitting at the froyo place and eating it, I had planned to take it to a little area I had researched in advance and hike around while eating froyo. 

This kind of failed for two reasons. 

Reason #1

Froyo melts. Quick. The hike was only an 8 minute drive and by the time we got there, my coffee frozen yogurt tasted more like iced coffee with gummy bears in it. 

Reason #2. 

It got dark quicker than we were expecting, making hiking whilst eating/drinking frozen yogurt not the greatest idea. 

All in all though, it was a great time and date #1 for the monthly date challenge went down in the books. 

Alex's Date

August was super busy for us because we were apartment hunting and then packing to move at the end of the month. We were pretty tired, so Alex's date was pretty low key but got us out of the house which is the important thing! 

We'd been talking about going to Buffalo Wild Wings for their 60 cent boneless chicken wing night for a lonnnnnng time and hadn't done it yet. We decided to change that. 

What you may not know about me is that chicken isn't my favorite thing... which is ironic considering both of our dates night this month included chicken. 

I like chicken if:

1. It doesn't have bones 

2. It has enough sauce or dressing that I don't actually taste chicken

Buffalo Wild Wings meets both of these criteria... boneless and I really just go for all the delicious sauce on the chicken. 

We stuffed our faces full of poultry and then went home to cook up a tasty dessert. 

Not gonna lie... This was my first time doing s'mores over an electric stove (got the idea from a friend). In case you were wondering- it works GREAT! I had done it over a gas stove before and in comparing the two I would say the electric stove is easier and provides a more even brown. 

This may be the one and only way that an electric stove is better than gas. 

All in all, month #1 of our monthly date challenge went well and was worth the extra effort to plan some dates that weren't "normal" for us. Look for the dates in month #2 of our date challenge in a post coming early October! 

Does anyone else not really like chicken? And did you know that frozen yogurt melts so quick?!

My Wedding Miracle- Part 4

If you missed the miracles that played into my wedding day click here, here, and here so that you know the background to the finale of this incredible day!

The whole day was my favorite, but I especially loved the reception. The hard part was over- I had just gotten married yo! I felt like a champ and was ready to enjoy some good food and good dancing. 

We walked into a (mostly) standing ovation (holla!)....

... And then sat down to feast. I must say, I can't remember the food much, but I've heard from friends that it was good so there's that.

At the prompting of our pastor's wife Kristen, we went and made the whole thing legal. We definitely almost forgot this minor detail.

Then it was time to nicely feed each other cake. This picture is deceiving. Alex started it. Promise.

Then came the moment that I had been anxiously waiting for... mostly because I wanted to get it over with. Watch below. (If you're on a mobile device, click here to watch the video.)

Alex and I had discussed doing a surprise first dance even before we were engaged. I gotta tell you, though, it almost didn't happen. It was two weeks before the wedding, we basically didn't have any moves together and I was stressed about other things. Thanks to Alex's persistence (he said a fun first dance was one of the only things he cared about in our wedding), we choreographed and got the whole thing ready in less than two weeks. 

And I'm SO glad we did, because it was probably in the top 3 moments of my wedding. What made it awesome was that we told no one. 

The photographer (my brother) and videographer were told and sworn to secrecy at the rehearsal dinner the night before our wedding. The DJ found out a couple days before the wedding and agreed to play along (what you don't see in the video is him scrambling as the disc is skipping acting like he's trying to fix the problem). Other than those three people, no one had a clue, and therefore expected nothing.

The entire crowd was surprised- one of my bridesmaids even told me later, "Sarah, I was so mad at that DJ for letting the song skip. It was your first dance! And then I realized..." 

Everyone loved it, and the best part of it for us was watching everyone's faces as they reacted to each new song. 

Moral of that story? Do a surprise dance at your wedding. It will probably be one of the best moments of your life. 

The dancing continued... 

 And then the party really got started as I was stolen by a few cousins, had a drink at a local bar, and came back in time to participate in possibly my favorite thing ever- La Marcha (read about both of those traditions here). 

In case you haven't picked up on it by now, my wedding was really fun. All the Hispanic traditions that come into play just make it a big, fun party. If you've never been to a Hispanic wedding, you should probably become my friend so I can take you to one! 

You can't have a dance party without including the Dollar Dance or my personal favorite... La Macarena.

One of my best friends (and bridesmaids) caught the bouquet and following tradition (for the first time I've ever heard!) got married next... about a month later. 

And you can't forget the fierce fight that transpired over the garter. The winner of that one was my maid of honor's boyfriend... now fiance!

We danced and danced, until we could dance no more. Sometime during the night, all the groomsmen disappeared for quite a long while. We later found out why... 

 Our getaway car!

Well, all good things must come to end and September 14th most certainly had to too. There's only so much party and celebration to be had in one day. 

Every little girl dreams of her perfect wedding day. And mine was exactly that- perfect. Miracles surrounded our wedding day from the rain, to God's hand clearly orchestrating September 14th to be our wedding day. God was glorified and I spent the day laughing, smiling, and joyfully celebrating the beginning of my journey with the one whom my soul loves.

My Wedding Miracle- Part 3

If you haven't read part one of our wedding miracle head over here. And be sure to get every detail of the story in part two which you can find here.

The sun had just begun to peek through as both of my parents walked me down the aisle. Walking down the aisle was 60 seconds of my life that I will never forget. I struggled to keep tears from streaming down my face as I saw people in the audience crying, and saw Alex's face when he turned around to see his bride for the first time.

My youth pastor from high school, Adam, officiated the wedding and did a truly amazing job. Adam and his wife, Kristen, played a vital part in helping my relationship with Christ grow, and walked beside me during some hard times in high school. It was a blessing and an honor to have someone who had played such an important role in my life officiate the most important event of my life.

Alex and I decided early on in our engagement that we wanted two things for our wedding day. One, was to have fun, and two, we wanted the entire day to reflect Christ. Therefore, as the rain ceased and the sun shined overhead, Adam began our ceremony by proclaiming, "We are here to glorify God".

We had a good friend, Leah, read from Ecclesiastes, which Adam followed with a short message. Alex and I then washed each others feet, symbolically pledging to always serve one another as Jesus did with his disciples in John 13:1-17.

We each had written our own vows which we then read to each other, followed by the exchanging of rings.

 Communion with our parents followed. We chose to include our parents in communion because we know that marriage is a union of Alex and I, but also a union of two families, and we knew that we would need both families' support in our days and marriage ahead. Communion together felt like an outward expression that we and our families were unified and blessed in Christ.

Our musicians played "1000 Reasons: Bless the Lord" by Matt Redman and we, along with all our guests, worshiped to this beautiful song.

We kissed for the first time as man and wife, and walked down the aisle as Mr. and Mrs. Jenik as the sun shined brightly overhead.

The sun miraculously continued through the next two hours of pictures. So much sun that some of my ladies landed up getting sunburned... and remember that just a couple hours prior, the rain was pouring and weather channel predicted an 80% chance of continuing rain. 

Our backup plan of praying (or lack of a proper backup plan according to most who asked), had totally worked and the God who creates the weather had indeed showed his sovereignty over those who predict the weather.

Alex and I took our fair share of couple pictures all over the picturesque town of Silverton, and even had tourists from Utah ask if they could take our picture as we posed in the middle of main street for a shot. 

I think their exact words were "Can we take a picture of you two so that we can show our friends in Utah what we saw in Colorado?" 

I'm pretty sure we were going to be shown among pictures of bears and big horn sheep as they show their friends what crazy things they find in dat der' crazy Coloraduh! 

Several hundred pictures later and we hopped in our limousine to head over to the reception venue. And by limousine I mean my parents' rental car because they had totaled their own car just a couple of days before the wedding.

The story continues (and finishes) here! You don't want to miss it! There may or may not be an awesome video involved.

My Wedding Miracle- Part 2

If you missed the first part of the story, click on over here so that you don't miss a detail!

It was a week before my wedding when the rain started. And this rain was no ordinary late summer Colorado monsoon. This rain was coming down all day, causing floods, making news, and breaking state records. Normally we would be rejoicing in a record breaking week of rain, but for this bride expecting to walk down an outside aisle, the rain was causing some pretty major stress. 

I obsessively checked the Weather Channel app on my phone that predicted weather 10 days in advance, and as September 14th neared, reports consistently showed an 80% chance of rain that day. 

The Wednesday before my wedding (the wedding was on a Saturday), I was checking the weather (yet again) when I felt God whisper to me, 

"Sarah, you're trusting the men who predict the weather, more than you're trusting the man who creates the weather." 

The whisper stopped me mid-click as I realized God was right (as He always is). I was trusting man's predictions over God's perfect sovereignty, and I knew that God had planned September 14th to be my wedding day (click here to read the first part of this story). This whisper and the assurance that September 14th was a day chosen by God, allowed me to have peace in the days leading up to the wedding, as the rainfall continued to break records. 

It rained through the rehearsal dinner and poured outside the night before the wedding as I gifted my purity pledge card to Alex before we parted ways for our last night as singles. Leading up until this point, everyone had been asking what our backup plan was for the ceremony (which was to be outside; reception was inside). I responded each and every time, "Our backup plan is to pray really hard." This answer was less than satisfactory to many people but I refused to seriously think through any serious backup plans (mostly because we had no good options).

(Giving gifts to all the people involved in the wedding at our rehearsal dinner. Yes, Coors Lite is the best kind of gift).

The morning of September 14th dawned bright and... cloudy. My girls and I met at the hair salon at 8AM and I truly enjoyed the next few hours of getting my hair did, makeup done, and sipping on Durango Joe's coffee while forcing myself to eat a breakfast burrito. Excitement for me = not hungry, so my ladies were forcing me to eat all day.

The girls and I piled in two cars for the hour drive up to Silverton just as it started raining. It rained the entire way up and continued raining as we had lunch and finished getting ready at a little house that some friends had lent us. Thankfully no one asked me what my backup plan was that morning because my answer was the same, and I was about one person away from killing really flipping out on the next person who asked me what my backup plan was.

I would be lying if I said that I wasn't nervous at all the morning of my wedding. I definitely had some wedding jitters, but I feel like they were mostly related to the fact that I was getting.married. (and could hardly believe it myself!) 

At one point, however, the emotion of the day (worried about the rain, nervous and excited about getting married, nervous that there was going to be 200 people watching me) caught up to me and I went downstairs to where my aunt, cousin, and mom were finishing the flower bouquets. 

I walked in the room and started crying immediately. My mom walked over, prayed over me, and fifteen minutes later I felt much better having let out some of the emotions that I was feeling in a good cry.

I slipped on my dress, had my precious Grandma fasten my pearl necklace and then went downstairs so my Dad could see. 

Alex and I then met and exchanged letters and prayed together (without seeing each other!). It was  1:30 PM (wedding was set to start at 2 PM), and it was still drizzling, but seemed as though it was slowing down. I later found out that around 1:45PM the rain had mostly stopped and some family members furiously began drying the 200 plastic chairs at the ceremony site while the musicians set up.

The girls and I drove over to the venue and stepped out into the cool air. I was shielded by umbrellas as I walked to the beginning of the aisle.

The ladies and men lined up, I took both my parents' arms and at 2pm the music started right as sun started peeking through the clouds... 

Click here to read part 3!