Monthly Date Challenge: Dancing Gone Wrong

A few months ago, Alex and I initiated a monthly date challenge to motivate ourselves to get out of the house and go on different dates. The general idea is that we each plan a date for each month, that way we're having at least two monthly date nights (which is more than we used to!) 

November was Alex's birthday so I landed up not planning a separate date because I was so focused on all of the birthday festivities. Alex was on top of it and managed to plan a fun one for us. Read more below to find out about our dancing gone wrong and to see some pictures of my guy's birthday! 

Alex's Date 

There is nothing that I love more than walking through our front door and being greeted by my man saying, "Hey are you okay if we do something a little different tonight?" This little "something different" included me not having to cook dinner so of course I was game. 

We hopped in the car and drove to our favorite gourmet Italian place... Noodles & Co. It's actually not our favorite Italian place but Alex got a coupon for a free entree for his birthday month so that night it was our favorite. 

Then we made a pit stop at one of our favorite stores Goodwill. 

Now, lest you think my man is cheap and doesn't plan good dates, I'm pretty sure Goodwill was not part of the original date. But. It happened to be right across the street from Noodles & Co. and we hadn't stopped by since we'd moved so thought we'd wander around inside so that the country club we were going to later would have a chance to get wild (more on that later). 

We actually do love thrifting and have gotten some pretty cool stuff from it, but this Goodwill was slightly ridiculous. There was a strand of (used) Christmas lights that was $15... we plugged it in and it didn't even work. Need I say more? 

We headed to this new country club that we'd heard about from a friend. After going, leaving to find an ATM because they only took cash (really, who does that?), and then going back, we entered a very large and empty country club. 

Alex and I LOVE country dancing, it's one of our favorite things to do and we had both been excited to try this place. We were ready to dance the night away! 

(like our boots? yeah, me too)

We picked a perch on the side of the dance floor and immediately noticed that they were playing some really weird music. We had seen on the website that the night's theme was west coast swing and two step (not paying more attention to the "west coast swing" part was our first mistake). The music they were playing must have been considered "west coast swing" music. All we knew was that the five people that were dancing were definitely doing some step that we had no idea how to do. 

We decided to be patient and wait until after 9pm. After all, it was a random Thursday night and we figured the music would get better. It didn't. 

There was a continuous mix of weird oldies and hip hop. Did you know you could country dance to hip hop? Yeah, neither did I. But apparently you can, as was proven by the 60 year old couple that was somehow country dancing to Usher. 

Alex and I got out for a couple of dances to the two country songs they played, but for the most part this is how we felt about the night: 

 And this is the most fun I had that evening:

(One of my absolute favorite things to do is taking selfies of us while Alex isn't looking. I've thought about doing an entire blog post of these kinds of pictures. He's less than a fan).

We left the club after about an hour and decided that we need to go back on a normal night to try it again. It wasn't a date fail by any means because we had fun and spent time together, but it certainly was dancing gone wrong. 

Sarah's Date / Alex's Birthday Celebration 

I will admit I slacked on the date planning department in preparation for the big guy's birthday. We celebrated his birthday a weekend early because I was set to work the actual weekend of his birthday. 

The first weekend we celebrated an early birthday for both my husband and his mom whose birthday is three days before Alex's. We went out to eat at this Brazilian place (so.good.) and then opened presents at my in-laws house. 

For his birthday, I got Alex a bike rack for his car... something he's been wanting for forever. Despite it being winter and not being able to use it much right now, he was still pretty excited.

The weekend of his birthday I had Saturday off and was supposed to work Sunday (his actual birthday). Saturday we went to a little festival in the town we just moved from. They light a giant star in the middle of the town and there's always lots of free food and music. We enjoyed walking around our old town, enjoyed seeing the star lit, and then had pizza with friends after.

That Sunday night I had requested to be called off if they had an extra nurse at work. So after a terrible night's sleep (I was scared I would miss the call), they called me at 5:20 AM on my husband's birthday and made my dreams come true. I was so thankful I didn't have to go into work on his birthday!

That Sunday his family came up to Denver and we watched the new Hunger Games movie (intense for sure), then went to dinner at the Old Spaghetti Factory (which probably actually is our favorite Italian place... anyone else ever been to one??) All in all, it was a fun month filled with birthdays, yummy Thanksgiving dinners, and dates to laugh about.

How was your month?? Any fun dates? Anyone like country dancing besides us?

Developing a Work-Life Balance

As I have transitioned into the work phase of my life, I have had to adjust to a number of things, the main thing being a developing a work-life balance. When one starts into the work force we are often prepared to work the long hours, go the extra mile, and take all the grunt tasks to “get ahead”. In trying to get ahead, I’m afraid many of us struggle with finding a work-life balance. We work hard because we’re trying to prove to ourselves, to our superiors, and to those around us that we can do this. A handful of us work hard because we enjoy our jobs, we feel needed, and we fill fulfilled. I would classify myself in both categories- I love my job, I feel fulfilled in what I do, but I also wanted to prove (to myself more than anyone) that I am a good nurse.

Part of what made developing a work-life balance difficult was there are many times when I feel like what I am doing at work is so much more valuable than time spent with family or time spent with friends. My Dad spent years working at an orphanage in Mexico, and my mom later told me that when he was raising us kids sometimes he felt like he wasn't doing much “good” because he was no longer helping the orphans. His sister reminded him that he is doing the most important job there is in raising his own kids, but I often wonder how many of us feel like my Dad? How many of us feel more useful and needed in our jobs than at home? Maybe we think that by focusing in on our time with family and friends that we are being selfish. I would argue just the opposite. You may feel needed at work but you really are needed at home too. The time you spend investing in those closest to you and the breaks that you should give yourself are what allow you to be effective in your day job.

In this first year and a half of being in the work force I've learned that more important than working hard in my career is learning to balance my work with other responsibilities. I've had to learn that my purpose is greater than my job, and that my purpose can include time spent with family and friends.

Both the family I was born into and the family I married into have been great examples of what it looks like to have a good work-life balance. Both families viewed (and still view) work as something that was necessary, working hard was a good thing, but family and relationships trumped all.

I've also spent some time in the last year and a half examining what this work-life balance looked like for Jesus. If we examine His life a little closer, He spent the first 30 years of his life developing relationships with his family and friends in preparation for his public ministry. During the times of His public ministry we know that he had a close relationship with his mother and we see how much time he spent with his family (the disciples). He spent a large majority of his time pouring into his disciples' lives, ministering to them, and then he took his ministry public.

Time with friends and family can feel selfish or fruitless, but something about this time spent nurturing relationships of those closest to us in turn provides us with strength that we may have not had otherwise. The time we spend outside of work can truly help us do our job better when we are at work. This time outside of work can easily be devalued if we’re constantly checking our work email, thinking about work, and doing tasks that really should only be done at work. There is much to be said for truly “leaving work at work”.

This work-life balance looks different for different people and may even look different depending on the part of the world you live in. For me, the work-life balance includes a few deliberate choices. I have chosen not to have my work email connected to my phone- nothing is going to happen if I get back to someone in a couple of days instead of a couple of minutes. This is something I really struggled with when I started my job- I was new and wanted to be professional and prompt so  I connected my email to my phone. I soon realized that this was causing me to think about work outside of work way more than I should have, and I was stressing about things that I read in my email without even having to set foot in the hospital. Disconnecting my work email was one of the best things I've ever done in achieving a work-life balance.

I also practice a few mental techniques to help me leave work at work. I have a 5 minute walk from the hospital to the car and during this time I imagine myself holding two suitcases, one in each hand. Each suitcase holds the bits and pieces of the day I just worked. As I walk towards my car I imagine myself dropping each suitcase on the ground and leaving all of my day on the grounds of the hospital. If a particular part of my day stays in my head on the drive home, I think about it during my drive and then pretend that I’m locking up that situation in my car as I lock the car doors to go inside my apartment.

In a job that’s filled with human connection and personal exposure into people’s (often sad) life stories, I’m not always good at leaving everything at work. Sometimes I walk through the door and have to unload my day on Alex (bless his heart). The verbal processing is sometimes the only way I can get over my day but  I also try not to make it a habit. Sometimes talking through my day will actually make it a lot worse and it’s easier if I leave things unsaid and keep my house a safe work-free zone.

The main way that I keep a healthy work-life balance is by making the most of my days off. This means taking time to take care of myself and not feel guilty about it. Some days this means that the house isn't cleaned and dinner is frozen pizza. This means taking time to meet with friends and putting in the effort to hang out with someone. This means taking time to connect with family whether it’s dinner together or Facetime. This means taking time to invest in my two most important relationships that I have- getting in the Word with my guy Jesus, and having date nights with my guy Alex.

By disconnecting myself, using imagery techniques, and making the most of my days off, I feel like I’ve developed a healthy work-life balance. Work is work. It is not and should not be the only thing that defines you or the only thing in life that gives you purpose. You were given the people around you for a reason, and the strength you gain outside of your work day by investing in these relationships will make you ten times more effective at your job. Finding a work-life balance is vital in this life journey; it’s a process but it’s a process that will contribute to your health, your peace, and your overall happiness in this life.

Have you ever struggled finding a healthy work-life balance?  What are some ways that you have developed a healthy mix of the two?

**Sometimes out of work obligations are just as stressful (or more stressful) than work obligations- come back next week for a followup post on balancing life demands**