2016: Intentional Life

On January 1, 2015 I wrote this in my first blog post of the year:

"This year, I will fight against the excuses and the heart of waiting that so easily turns into the heart of postponing."

As I read it again this year doing my 2015 recap post, it struck a chord with me. I have shared on here that Alex and I are/were in a season of waiting. He was in school for radiology, but his ultimate goal was to get into physician assistant school. That was a 2+ year wait, and we can officially say that that wait is over. Alex got into PA school and officially accepted a seat (more about that during my next blog post- a little coffee date catch up). He'll be starting in June and I'm in my second semester of nurse practitioner school. 

Now that we're here, I've felt in my heart that now we're just waiting until we're both finished with school (our year of liberation is 2019, people!) I don't know about you, but I don't want to always be in a phase of waiting. 

How many sermons do we hear about waiting on the Lord or waiting for the right time? How often do we read about people that are in a waiting season? Don't get me wrong- I think there is such value to seasons in which the Lord makes us wait; I've seen it in my own life. But I also think that it's easy to get caught in this cycle of always waiting for something or another. And I don't think that's what the Lord has for us. 

I think that by waiting, we can miss a lot of the now. I've done this and still probably do it. How many things do you push off until you're married, or until you have a house, or until you have kids, or until you finish school? Of course there are certainly wise things to postpone during certain times of life, but I think this idea of waiting can quickly become a spirit of postponing. So that brings me to our word of the year. Alex and I prayed separately about this word and (not-coincidentally) came up with the same idea/word. 

INTENTIONAL 

We both feel like it's time to stop waiting for the next milestone to live. We're both in school and will be for the next few years, but we don't want to wait until we're finished to create community, give generously, or get involved in our community. It may be more challenging because of time and money constraints, but we refuse to put our lives on hold until Alex graduates in 2019. The idea that I had prayed about was life NOW. Alex put it more eloquently when the word brought to his heart was intentional. 

We want 2016 to be a year of intentionality- in our relationships, in our finances, and in our community. The verse we've chosen for this year is John 10:10...

"The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may HAVE LIFE and that they may have it more ABUNDANTLY. " (John 10:10, NKJV)

When Jesus said these words, I don't think He meant that we will have life abundantly only if we're married, or only if we're in a house or finished with school. I think He wanted us to know that He came for us so that we may have an abundant life now. Not in 5 years or when that certain thing happens, but now. 

So our challenge for ourselves in 2016 is to live life abundantly now. No more waiting, because that will be the rest of our life. We embrace this year as a year to build community, build relationships, and do well in our school and work. It all seems sort of vague to us now, but just like the Lord brought us opportunities to be generous last year, I think He'll show us what it means to live in the moment instead of always waiting. I pray the exact prayer that I prayed last year: That Alex and I will fight against the excuses and the heart of waiting that so easily turns into the heart of postponing. We pray that the Lord guides Alex and I to opportunities requiring intentional living, the wisdom to hear His direction, and the courage to follow the call.

What's your word or intention for 2016?? I would love to hear about it!

A Generous Home: 2015 Recap

Happy New Year friends! We're already well into January and I'm just now getting around to posting new year's type things. If you've hung around here for much time at all, you'll know that my posting has gone from less frequent to practically non-existent. I will blame grad school for it, because now all my days off are spent doing school work. Last quarter I was in two classes and now I'm in three so it only gets harder from here on out. My goal is still to post once a month but no promises. 

At the end of 2015 I spent some time reflecting on our word of the year: generosity. I LOVED the word and the challenge it brought with it. Below are some of my reflections on how we lived that word out. They're not intended as a brag but rather to give you ideas on how to extend generosity to those around you. The pieces highlighted in yellow are from my original post that was published on January 1, 2015 outlining what my heart was for the year. 

Generosity with Money 
I've shared my struggle in not letting money control me, and I think my challenge will be trusting in the Lord's provision as we strive to be generous financially. This continues to be a struggle for me but at the same time the Lord has brought me SO far in this aspect of my life! It was so fun to be able to give to several organizations that were near and dear to our hearts, and faithfully tithe at church. It's sometimes hard to look at the budget and see the money that we're giving away and think of what we could be spending it on (i.e. tuition). This next year Alex and I will both be in school full-time and at some point I may need to drop down from full-time work. This will be incredibly challenging as we navigate how to be stewards of our money and continue to faithfully give.

Generosity with Time and Home 
I want to be generous in my home by opening my doors to friends and strangers alike. I want to serve others food and show love at my dinner table share community around our couches. In 2015 we had many friend groups over and a big family gathering over. We really tried not to let our small space stop us from inviting people in. Game nights, Bronco games, and dinners were some of the sweetest memories of 2015 and I'm excited to see what 2016 holds. 

Generosity Out the Front Door 

I want the generosity to extend outside of my front door. In my original post I mentioned bringing soup to the homeless that stand on a corner near our home. I'm sorry to say that that never happened. But in 2015 generosity outside our front door meant knocking on our neighbor's door and offering to bring them dinner because they just had a new baby. It meant introducing ourselves to another neighbor that was new and bringing him cookies. Small things, yes, but at the same challenging and out of my comfort zone. 

This year, I will fight against the excuses and the heart of waiting that so easily turns into the heart of postponing. I read that line from last year's post and it still strikes me deep down in the heart. I do believe that 2015 was successful in terms of our goal to be generous with our time, home, and money. 

Just because it's 2016 doesn't mean that we're giving generosity the boot. Generosity will always be one of our goals. This year it may be the most challenging as we start paying tuition for the both of us and drop down to a single income again. But God. We know He's got us. And we pray that our hearts and homes stay generous even when the numbers don't make sense. 

How did your word of the year for 2015 turn out?? I would love to hear about it! 

A Generous Home: Update on my Word of the Year

The very first post on my blog in 2015 explained how my word of the year was generosity. I wrote how I wanted to be generous in my finances, home, and time. I wanted to reflect on how this goal had gone so far, and share it here on the blog. This post is not in any way meant as a bragging post, but as a post that allows you all to keep me accountable over the next 6 months. 

So far in 2015, we've opened up our table to more friends and family than we did in 2014. We've had game nights with couple friends that have been so fun, and have housed 6 people (at once, not total) in our 600 square foot apartment. These times have been highlights of my year. I've always been one to take joy in knowing that there is no more room at my table and that every single sleeping space is being used. We've been able to tip waiters and waitresses more than the cost of our bill, and donate to a couple of charities near and dear to our hearts. I reiterate: these things have been so fun. But, they've also been comfortable. I know that things don't always have to be uncomfortable to be effective, but in my heart of hearts, when I wrote that post back in January, I wanted to be so generous that it would make me uncomfortable. 

To date, I have only done one thing that felt uncomfortable. After hearing a little baby's cry from our neighbor's apartment, I walked across the breezeway one night and knocked on the door and introduced myself. This was our first time meeting, and I asked if they had recently welcomed a bundle of joy (to which they said yes), and I proceeded to ask if I could bring them dinner one night (to which they agreed). This doesn't seem like a big deal now, but I was sweating buckets you guys. I was more nervous for that than I had been for anything in a really long time! What would they think of me? Would they think I was weird or trying to poison them? Or since we live in Colorado, did they think I was going to give them pot-laced brownies? I especially didn't want them to think that their baby was bothering us ( because he wasn't). All these things ran through my mind as I debated whether or not I should walk across the breezeway and introduce myself. Thankfully, my power thought of the week, was "do not fear", and because of this thought, I pushed my fear aside and knocked on their door. This act of generosity, though seriously uncomfortable,worked out beautifully as they enjoyed their homemade lasagna and banana bread, giving us a sweet thank you note a few weeks later. 

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In the next six months, I want generosity to push me out of my comfort zone. I recently read a book called "Bread and Wine" by Shauna Niequist that spoke directly to my heart. It talks about bringing people together over a meal, and the connections and life events that happen because of good food. She describes how early in her marriage, her and her husband's living room was full of people sitting on their floor sharing a meal off of paper plates while getting to know each other. 

This is my dream. I want my living room floor covered with friends, I want food spilled on my carpet because someone ran into someone else, and I want my sink full of dishes that aren't just mine and Alex's. But then the fear sets in... who would I invite? If I invite people who don't know each other will it be awkward? What if we decide to break out the board games and people don't like board games? What if conversation slows? What if people don't like the food? What if? 

Let these next six months be a period where I throw the "what ifs" out the window. I've let my fear stop me from being so uncomfortably generous. I really want to stop caring about what people think, and instead show them love. Show them good food, show them homely love, and create an environment where people feel like they can be real. 

In the next six months, I also need to be more generous with my time. It is so easy to throw money at something and feel good about it. It's much harder to spend precious days off waking up early to go serve at the soup kitchen, or come home early from camping to teach Sunday school. I have yet to stop and share a meal with the men I see begging on the corner, and have yet to start consistently volunteering somewhere. I've looked and thought about these things, but haven't taken action. Selfishness, greed, and busyness win over every time. I want these next six months to be a period of time where I slow down, take time to buy that man a cold soda and hear his story. I want the next six months to be a period where I give up control of my time, and let God use it how He pleases. 

I actually got a little anxious writing this post you guys. A lot  Most of this stuff isn't easy for me. I'd much rather sit behind anonymous donations and comfortable dinners with friends I know. But I know that I am called to do more. And because of that I pray for the ability to slow down and to yield my heart and goals to Jesus.  And more importantly, I pray for the courage to follow how the Lord leads, even if it's hard, scary, and makes my palms sweat. 

How are you doing with your word of the year? Any thoughts on how to be generous with time, money, and/or home?