CONVICTION
Being convicted and assured
to pursue the career that
I am called to.
I have been asked "what I want to be when I grow up" since say, oh I was 4 years old. I have replied everything from a farmer, to a marine biologist, to my mom's least personal favorite- a cashier at City Market.
Around 15 I started telling people that I wanted to be a nurse practioner, and that answer stayed with me throughout high school. I had life easy when I was a senior in high school- when I had to write an essay on "describe your career goals" bam, I had no problem. It was undergrad for my BSN (Bachelor of Science in Nursing), work for two years, go back to grad school for a MNP (Masters in Nurse Practitioning).
4 years later, at the ripe old age of 19, all of a sudden my career path has not seemed so clear.
School started on August 23, 2010 with a new clinical student orientation (I was accepted into the Beth-El College of Nursing & Health Sciences in June 2010). Between learning what to expect for our 17 credit hours of class, and all the supplies we had to have within the week, along with immunizations, drug tests, and background checks.... I began to get overwhelmed like I'd never been before.
All of a sudden I could barely sleep at night because I was lying away wondering...
Do I reallly want to be a nurse?
Is this really what I want to do with my life?
Should I go to med school? (Yes, way more expensive, but it has always been my #2 choice)
Why am I even in nursing school?
Am I doing this for job security or because I really want to be in the field of nursing?
Basically it boiled down to....
Do I really want to be in nursing school? Because if I don't, I need to get out now.
I tossed and turned at night, felt restless during the day, and in general lacked internal peace.
This past summer (taking care of my 92-year old Grandma) had already caused me to question nursing school. Now I was in "real" nursing school, eating, thinking, and breathing nursing (not to mention spending several hundred extra dollars) and I only began questioning my career choice more and more.
Then one night, it all changed....
Per usual for a Friday night, I was at theMILL which is basically a huuuuuge youth group for college kids and 20-somethings. We were singing the song "Counting on God" (good ole' Desperation song right there!) and all of a sudden I had a vivid flashback: I was sitting at a table in the Durango High School Counseling office where I sat as a 15-year old flipping through book of different career choices. I got to the "N" section and found myself in a profession called "Nurse Practitioner". I started reading up on it, and became intrigued by everything the profession had to offer. It was that very day that I decided that I wanted to do that with my life. I vividly remember that day, and the Lord brought it back to me as I sat contemplating a major change 4 years later in a seat at New Life Church.
Immediately after that vivid memory of when I had decided to become a nurse practitioner I heard God in my heart, almost like I have never heard him before. What I heard was...
"Sarah, you are here for a reason. You are supposed to be in nursing school. I brought you to Colorado Springs, I brought you to the Beth-El College of Nursing. Your pain and struggles during nursing school are going to be for the benefit of others. You are in nursing school not only to help others, but more importantly to glorify my name. Every experience, trial, and triumph are all just going to be steps in becoming the nurse you're supposed to be. I planted this dream in your heart 4 years ago, and yes it will be hard, but yes I have brought you here...for such a time as this."
Since that night, I have not once questioned my goal of being a nurse because God has assured me that he wants me here. I can sleep at night (literally) and the peace that only He gives (John 14:27) fills me. My Father in heaven has CONVICTED me that I am once again in the right place at the right time.
My God is stronger than me. He brought me here by the power of His hand, and He will keep me here through His grace. He will guide my steps and lead my way.
Whatever you're doing at this stage in your life, God has placed you there for such a time as this. He has brought you to where you are by the power of His hand, and He is doing great things through you. Keep in mind:
"I raised you up for this very purpose, that I might display my power in you and that my name might be proclaimed in all the earth."- Romans 9:17 (NIV)
God is working through you, don't ever doubt it. Be convicted, be reassured. You are here... for such a time as this.
